Holding hands

 

 

A starry night sky on the streets of Los Angeles, a vivid memory of me and my best friend Sara was a true dream come true and a nightmare. She called me to share the news. We had a meeting in the paramount cafe at 8:30 pm. I dressed up and left to meet her we chatted for a while and time passed it was 9:45 by then Sara wanted to go for a walk I agreed and we started walking along with the suburbs of Los Angeles, we stopped a lake nearby and she showed me a plane ticket, I was puzzled and clueless. The next thing she said was completely unexpected and surprising. She broke the news to me, she said that she will be leaving for Seoul for the rest of her life and there will be no chances to meet face to face. It was a friendship of 16 years she has been with me through thick and thin, ups and downs. I felt like a part of my heart had departed away from me but I had to support her decision. I was sobbing. I endured everything and asked her about the departure and it was the next day I was startled and sobbed again but I didn't want to spend the small amount of time we had. It was late at night, that's when I understood what life is short and time doesn't wait for anything mean she gave me a little heart pendant and said it's time for her to leave we spent the last couple of minutes holding hands and staring at the stars she told me to look at the sky and find the brightest star and I did then she told me that brightest star only shines in the darkest of nights she said I have to be that bright star in the darkness. It was Midnight at that moment. We bid our goodbyes and left with great sadness. Even though the memories are blurry and vivid, the words are crystal clear to me, she Is still in Seoul now. We talk on social media. She is having a lot of fun and so am I. I still miss her but we meet in the video call. Time passes by quickly. It's what you do in that time that matters; the small things you do can make big changes in other lives.

 

 

Joyce Gethsimani

 

 The world was so complicated yet her dreams were so simple. Even with parents that made her dream harder, the only nightmare she had was of the society. What would they say about me? What would they say about my parents? These thoughts took her down severely. She knew she was right and that these thoughts were their fault and not hers. But unfortunately the world has taught her to take majority as right and not what is morally or practically correct. What envy has caused such misery among us? what made tears a sign of weakness? who told clothes define a person? And moreover who ever said dreaming had restrictions?! How did we end up like this, days driven by the deadly sins, nights passed with tears as a mere ticket to the next day. Trust has become so uncommon that every time she feels happy with the people she’s with, they all just feel like mistakes that her mind can’t see. She doubts every moment of happiness she ever experiences. Don't blame her, you are the reason why she’s like this, not only her, him too… What makes people think boys don't have emotions? Or even feelings? If you are bringing up someone without feelings or emotions that person is a threat, coz he/she’s vulnerable to all the good things that happen around them. I don’t understand, when did people start doubting themselves for a moment of laughter and silent giggles. I can now only hope my generation realizes how wrong we are and maybe bring our children into a better society. if not for us, for our future… 

How do you feel when your head has been restricted from things you want. How does it feel when you realize you are losing yourself? The answer is empty. You feel empty, not that you are losing everything but instead that you have already lost them. You lose your world of escape, being stuck with people who only think it their way is torture… Just like things wear down, talk about that one insecurity of hers again and again and over again, it wounds her slowly but deeply. You will never know the pain of this constant slow harm, you will only realize that you lost yourself when it is too late. Anxiety is something she doesn't embrace, she wont tell you these are the issues she goes through, cause for her she has already died in her world. Dreams that they label unreachable and unrealistic, has already made her lose belief in herself, like she is losing the future. 

Slowly going crazy… slowing losing sense of who you were, what happiness was, what it meant to laugh out loudly? And she's reached there where she does not know who she is anymore. Her dreams have lost sense, they don't mean anything to her anymore, as she is bought up right now to make sure she reaches every goal except the one she wants for herself.

-Nandhana